Saturday, January 21, 2012

Kiss My Ass Paula Deen!

*picture from*

In case you haven't heard this week, there is some shocking news.
The Baroness of Butter, the Countess of Cream, the Lady of Lard; has Type 2 Diabetes.
Of course I speak of the sweet Southern Belle, Paula "Deep-Fry It" Deen.

Am I pissed that Paula has Diabetes?  Of course not!  Am I pissed that she's known for over three years and kept it a secret while raking in the bucks showing people how to make things like Ultimate Fantasy Deep Fried Cheesecake, and Deep Fried Lasagna?  Hell yes!  She came out with the news of her diabetes only AFTER she secured a deal with Novo Nordisk to hawk their diabetes medication.  What a hypocritical bitch y'all!

I'm having a bit of trouble holding down my tomato/spinach/garlic juice right now.  It could be quotes like "I’m here today to let the world know that it is not a death sentence".  No shit honey!  Really?  Type 2 Diabetes is not a death sentence?  It's completely preventable with the proper diet and exercise?  You mean, you can actually CURE yourself of Type 2 Diabetes?  That is unless you eat things like Deep-Fried Stuffing on a Stick from her website.  There is over 20 grams of fat per serving in that little gem, which is my best guess using a nutritional calculator because you can't find ANY nutritional information on (as of the writing of this blog at least).  That didn't count the fat used to fry it in, by the way, that's just the fucking ingredients. 

Here's another quote to make you just a tad more queasy.  "Here’s the thing, you know, I’ve always encouraged moderation.  On my show, you know, I share with you all these yummy, fattening recipes, but I tell people 'in moderation".  I've watched your show Paula.  I've actually heard you say the words "Now remember y'all, you can eat this in moderation" with a coy wink, a sly smile, all the while sliding the 2 sticks of butter into the bowl for your Fried Butter Balls.

What's funny about this?  I used to admire Paula Deen.  She pulled herself out of a hell that I know a lot about (social anxiety and agoraphobia), so I respected the hell out of her.  I have even occasionally thought "If Paula Deen can do it, so can I".  Not about her cooking, I can't handle that shit, but about her anxiety issues.

I've always thought Anthony Bourdain a bit of an ass but with quotes like "Thinking of getting into the leg-breaking business, so I can profitably sell crutches later", I am gaining an appreciation for him.  He, before this lovely bit of news, called Deen “the worst, most dangerous person to America," who "revels in her unholy connections with evil corporations" and is "proud of the fact that her food is fucking bad for you".  My appreciation may be bordering on actual like here!

If Paula Deen had come out and said "I have Type 2 Diabetes.  Please don't eat that shit that I was hawking.  I am going to take down my disgusting ass, nutritional information barren website, and put up my new diabetes conscious website", I would have said "Way to go Paula"!  But to wait three years, all the while knowing that the garbage you sell is killing people, that's unconscionable. She waited until she had a lucrative endorsement, her son got a deal for a "health conscious" cooking show (which is called "Not My Mama's Meals for fucks sake), and a fancy "light" website ready.  She's a disgusting pig.  Speaking of pigs, let's watch Paula get hit by a ham!

 Makes me smile every goddamn time!

"When your signature dish is hamburger in between a doughnut, and you've been cheerfully selling this stuff knowing all along that you've got Type 2 Diabetes ... It's in bad taste if nothing else," says Anthony Bourdain.

You're right Bourdain.  
It does leave a bad taste in my mouth.
I think I'm going to go have a cigarette.

That is all.


  1. i couldn't have said it better myself! so disappointing that she blew this platform on top of selling out! and being a southern chick i cannot help but love her! now she is peddling her boys to sell her *healthier* versions of her recipes... all while she laughs her way to the bank.\
    so sad -- so disappointing!
    and for the record --- i ADORE anthony bourdain & even more so now!
    at least he has addressed his addictions & never copped the fuck out!!!


  2. That's what bugs me the most, she copped out instead of owning her shit, and we all know how I feel about owning your shit! LOL

  3. Omg, that video is so funny! It makes me smile too:) My boyfriend is only in his early 30's and has diabetes and already has all of his toes amputated and is currently in the hospital getting a quarter of his foot removed. People that are famous like that really should use their "power" to show the RIGHT ways for us to eat, not teach us the BAD!

  4. I know who Paula Deen is but I never really used her recipes because you know anyone that uses that much butter and deep fries that much shit cannot equal to healthy recipes. I made one of her recipes for Xmas because it looked good and I needed a different recipe for potatoes.....Dude I could not even finish 2 bites the shit was so heavy. Good but heavy. Anthony B is the bomdiggity and I worship the ground he walks on I have loved this man for years even before his shows. If you have a chance read his books he is amazing and their is no BS he speaks the truth and he is one hot piece of ass. I had a chance to see him in person and he is Mmmmm yummy.....Love the post

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